September 2009 – Anti-social behaviour tragedy - I was quite distressed over this story of a mother (Fiona Pilkington) whose family were the target of violence and harrassment from local youths. Over a period of not weeks or months, but years of torment, neither the police nor the local council seemed willing or able to deal with the offenders. Fiona Pilkington became so depressed that she took the drastic action of ending the lives of herself and her daughter. So sad :-( Imagine going to bed each night worrying about what's going to happen the next day knowing that you haven't even got the backing of your local council or the police. Feeling so alone and powerless to do anything. It's hard to imagine for many of you I'm sure but we need to realise that this is only too REAL for many people out there. Suffering abuse, physical violence, harrassment from rowdy teenagers and sometimes, as in this case, the parents of these teenagers themselves. Whether these parents are actively involved or turning a blind eye to what their children are doing, they are just as responsible for this as if they themselves are dishing out the torment.

The story has made me think about how we behave as a society. The fact that Fiona was facing this alone, not only with no support from the police or authorities but also with no apparent support from her local community saddens me. This should be a lesson to us all to look out for the people around us. It might be a family that doesn't seem to fit in, maybe they come across a bit weird, maybe they've just moved in and are new to the area. Instead of keeping them isolated, we need to include them. Sometimes a small gesture of befriending these families can actually deter the local children from giving them problems. You don't have to have them round for tea, a chat in the street or on the doorstep can be enough just to show them and others that they are not on their own. Maybe you know of a family who are having problems and also know the offending people and their parents/families well enough to go and have words with them to stop. Maybe your own children have been causing a nuisance to a family without realising the harm they're causing, you can explain to them the effect their behaviour is having, maybe in a way they can relate to, such as how their own mum or nan, or other family member, would feel if it was happening to them. It sometimes isn't enough to just assume our children aren't getting into mischief when they're out on their own. We need to open our eyes as parents and be active in finding out what's going on out there. The days of chucking the kids out on the street with a couple of pound to play are long gone, we need to know what they are doing and who they are socialising with and if you find out they are giving problems to people then we need to put a stop to it. Our children are not the responsibility of others, it's down to us! The most annoying phrase and excuse for bad behaviour I hear is "The kids are bored, there's nothing for them to do." HELLOOOOO!!! Who do you think is supposed to be entertaining your children? If you think it's not you then maybe you shouldn't have had children.

I think there should be projects in schools, in the same way as sex education, getting the children to talk in a mature way about anti-social behaviour and how it can affect others. I really don't think the police and authorities will be able to tackle it on their own.

25^th June 2009 – The death of Michael Jackson – SHOCK!! Was the first thing I felt as it came out over the internet social pages. I didn’t believe what I was reading so on went Sky news and sure enough it was being reported on there. Not confirmed though, so I sat watching for updates for the rest of the evening. Then it was confirmed and I was dumfounded. Sad and speechless as I sat trying to take in this news. The following day I was completely numb but the day after, while reading what people were saying, I was angry. “PAEDO” said one… “NONCE” said another. Now, I know everyone is entitled to their own opinion but let it be an informed opinion and not one that is borne out of reading gossip and speculation that has appeared in newspapers and other media over the years. Do some investigating for yourselves on the facts… you may be surprised at what you learn. I like to think I am a level-headed person and try to see things from all angles before making my mind up and this is what I have done.

I was  born in the mid 60s and so I had the privilege of remembering Elvis Presley as well as remembering watching The Jackson 5 in their early career. My earliest memories are those of songs like ABC and the Jackson 5 cartoon which came on the tv. While I cannot say I was ever a really big Michael Jackson fan, I have been able to follow him throughout his career, from his early days with his brothers and through the split, when he went out on his own, and through his changing style and appearance. The fact that I don’t class myself as a big fan means I can state without bias that he was in all likely-hood the most talented all-round entertainer that ever graced the stage as well as the most misunderstood.

In hindsight… when I remember that cute kid performing with his brothers back in the 60s, little did I know the huge amount of pressure he was under from his father and the long hours of practice and shows he had to do. I feel sad for the loneliness he had to endure and the fact that he did not know the fun of childhood. It’s quite easy to understand why this boy never grew up or never wanted to grow up. While the man who was Michael Jackson had the talent, energy and drive to become the best showman I know, there was another side to him that was innocent, childlike and such a humanitarian. If we can start to understand this child inside, we can start to understand the way he lived…. Things that seemed weird or off, start to make sense.

I cannot think of another person, apart from Elvis, who had to endure such hardships as being unable to truly enjoy his fame. Who could never be sure if his “friends” were really his friends or if they were just jumping on the gravy train. Who was let down by so many people in his life that he ended up a virtual recluse.

ITV are due to show a re-run of the documentary “Living with Michael Jackson”, a programme that, at the time, was supposed to show the real Michael Jackson and dispel much of the speculation and rumours about his life. It was fronted by a man called Martin Bashir, who had been a little-known journalist until he’d got an interview with Princess Diana. Michael Jackson gave Martin no holds barred access to his home, his life and his feelings and in return for this exclusive position, Martin Bashir twisted and edited a programme that was to be Michael Jackson’s downfall. I can only urge anyone who has seen, or is thinking of watching this programme, to also watch the programme “Living with Michael Jackson Take Two”,  hosted by Maury Povich, which leaves in a lot of what was left out of the Martin Bashir version and where Michael Jackson gives a very good account of himself and who he really is. It also shows Martin Bashir to be a scheming, two-faced person. You can see the 1^st part of 9 parts here.  I suggest you follow them through in order 1 to 9.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

22nd May 2009 - Sentencing for the death of baby P (Peter) - I'm watching Sky news and the sentencing of the step-father, mother and lodger in the "baby P" case. Step father gets 12 years (recommended to serve minimum of 10 years), mother gets 10 years (to serve minimum of 5 years). Lodger gets 3 years. After my initially being brought to tears by the story, I'm now in disbelief at the light sentencing of these cruel, sadistic people. I have tried, as much as I can to steer clear of reading about the actual abuse that took place as it's always quite harrowing to read about the suffering, especially of small children. I do, however, know enough to be able to say "what the hell went on here?". How on earth did so many people in so many organisations let this tiny, vulnerable child down so badly???? It's been said so many times by so many people but still I cannot seem to get my head around it all. How could so many people fail to notice what was going on? or at least not be suspicious enough to investigate further. These were not people out on the street who happened to be passing by, these were supposedly professional people who were assigned to the family and supposedly trained to be able to spot when things aren't right and to alert others to possible problem areas. I know, it's too late now to save baby p but this should never have happened. Any person with even the smallest amount of common sense would have looked and thought "That doesn't look right". Even knowing how difficult it must be for a social worker to distinguish between children who are at risk or not, it is not difficult to distinguish between an obviously troubled child and one who is not and going further into why the child is troubled. It might only be that the child has behavioural problems and that more support is needed for the family to be able to support that child. It could be that a young inexperienced mother is not coping very well with the day-to-day tasks involved with caring for their child and while they might have the making of a very good mother, they might just need a bit of help and advice for now, until they feel able to go it alone. They might also be afraid to ask for that help in case the powers that be think they are not fit to bring up children and take their child away. Whatever the case, it is not enough to just brush off obvious problems, they need to be addressed and quickly. A step in the right direction would be to change peoples' view of social services in general. Make social services more user friendly and approchable. Almost everyone I have spoken to about social services has a very dim view of them as a whole. I'm sure if it wasn't for this, more people in difficulty would approach them and ask for help. My dad had a saying, "Look after the mother and the mother will look after the children". So true! If we make it easier for people to access the help then it would be easier to spot those who are just plain evil and cruel.

My Solution - Encourage parents into the field of social work. Not only social work but all agencies that give support to families and young parents particularly. With the best will in the world, no one can fully understand what it is to bring up children unless they have actually been there and done it. It's all well and good to have nvqs in this and that, health and social care and childcare but unless you have been through the child screaming through the night with colic and teething and the "terrible twos" (and other ages I might add). In fact every aspect of bringing up children and learning how to have fun and enjoy your time with your child, you haven't a hope of fully comprehending what a parent in need might be going through or how to help them. Some parents only need the reassurance that they are doing the right thing. Others may need advice on strategies on how to deal with behavioural problems or problems that arise from social isolation, where to go for help, etc, etc. Sure Start is one relatively new organisation that springs to mind and while it's a good thing, it's not for everyone. Some young mothers need more one to one help. That's where mentoring and befriending programmes would excel. A few months ago I volunteered for a group called real parents, an organisation that relies on volunteers to visit people with young children in order to help them using the benefit of their experience. I never heard back from them so I was left thinking, "why don't these people want to use me?" It's not like I was asking to be paid or anything. I know if I was getting help I would rather know the person helping me had been through what I was going through. When I had my first child I remember arriving home with this little human being and a heap of leaflets on 'how to...' and thinking how am I going to learn all this? I also remember going though the 'groundhog day' period where i felt rather like a robot, just going through the motions and thinking 'when am I going to master this?' and 'I'm not sure how long I'm going to be able to carry on' and 'am I ever going to be able to have a bath in peace?'. It's these kinds of times that, although are the tip of the iceberg, can seem ever so daunting at the time. I was lucky that I had a good amount of support from other parents in the same boat but I would have loved to have had a person outside my circle to turn to who would be non-judgemental and be able to give me some tips without making me feel like I was somehow abnormal or even unfit just for asking.

Get these volunteer organisations into action. Get society involved! One thing that I've learned over the years.... while we whinge about how unruly the children of today are, that's all we do is whinge. Instead of whinging, get involved with a local support organisation for young people. Put a bit of time and effort into getting to know children and find out the reasons why they behave the way they do.... you might be surprised at what you learn, shocked even. You might be thinking "well it's got nothing to do with me, if I wanted kids I'd have had my own". You might want to think that if you give a bit of your time you might help to make society a better place for all, including yourself.

21st April 2008 - Elections in Zimbabwe - Not being a politically minded person, I don't profess to know the whole ins and outs of the situation in Zimbabwe nor do I have a solution but in the immortal words of Victor Meldrew "I don't believe it!!!" The elections took place on 29th March and as of today, there are still no results given. Does Mugabe really believe that people will be fooled into thinking he's won, after stalling the results, sending his people round beating up and intimidating the voters and members of the opposition? It's quite obvious, even to a person with base sense, that the reason he is stalling is because he lost and what he is doing now is taking measures to ensure he comes out the winner. It's times like this that I think, as much as our government is crap at times, thank god I live in England! His neighbours need to get off their backsides now and sort it out. The sooner the better.

16th April 2008 - Heather Mills again - Why won't the woman keep her trap shut? Now she's in America mouthing off to anyone who will listen about the judgement made and about Paul's new love interest(s). She says "I wish all the girls the best of luck. Better them than me". Well, Heather love, I'm sure Sir Paul is thinking the very same thing, in fact it's probably more like "Better ANYONE than Heather Mills". I must admit I was rather pleased to read that she was loudly booed when judging at the Miss USA 2008 Pageant. Seiously though.... Heather.... for heaven's sake.... GO AWAY YOU HAG!

19th March 2008 - Heather Mills - Grrrrrrrrrrrrr! Who the bleedin' hell does this woman think she is? She's an embarrassment to women everywhere. What did she get? 25 Million or thereabouts? She wanted 125 Million and I'm so glad she didn't get it but what she did get was 25 Million too much if you ask me! Paul McCartney made his money before he met her so why should she expect a cut at all? Heather even stated that she knows Paul's been worth 800 Million for the last 15 years... errrr... how long were you with him heather? 4 years? Therefore you've admitted he had his money long before you came along. Their daughter's needs have been taken care of and that's how it should be but Heather should have got nothing. Let the woman work for her money. When I heard that Heather was flying first class while her daughter flew economy and the reason was that she couldn't afford for her daughter to fly on the budget awarded, I couldn't believe it. Isn't heather her mother? Couldn't Heather have dipped into her own 25 mill and made up the difference? Which is what any normal mother would do for her child. Better still, couldn't Heather have travelled economy too? As for heather needing security... does she really not realise that it's her money grabbing tactics that have made her one of, if not THE, most hated people in England? Wake up Heather, you silly cow, and smell the coffee. And stop trying to make money on the back of Paul's fame... that REALLY p*sses people off! Apparently, Paul is a tight-wad.... who cares? It's his money and if he wants to be thrifty that's his business. Fair play to him too for, while many artists have not managed to keep their wealth and gone down the slippery slope of drugs and over spending, Paul has managed to hang on to his wealth and his health. So, the very best of luck for the future Paul. As for you Heather, you devious, lying, money-grabbing excuse for a woman... the quicker you crawl back under that rock you crawled out from, the better! There, I feel better now... amazing what a bit of a rant will do :-)

5th January 2008 - Britney Spears - I'm by no means a fan of Britney but what the hell is going on? The girl has been in obvious need of help for a long time now and what help is she actually getting? Seems to me that Kevin Federline has been doing nothing other than trying to get custody of the children when he should be trying to help the poor girl. Trying to help himself morelike. From what I can make out he tried to use Britney's fame to further his own career and when that didn't work so well then came the divorce. Whether they're together or not, she IS, after all, the mother of his children. i am confident that his actions will come back to haunt him later on. What are her family doing? is what I'd like to know. Speaking as a mother myself, I'd be buggered if I'd stand by and watch my Grandchildren going into the custody of the likes of Kevin, who isn't exactly the salt of the earth himself and cheated on his last girlfriend to be with Britney in the first place. Also, who are all these people who are saying Britney is not a fit mother? Do they think that kind of talk is going to help her? Half of these people probably haven't even got children themselves and, if they have, they've probably never been through anything nearly as trying as what Britney has. She needs help and support at the moment, that's all. I'll probably look like some nutcase but I really wish there was something I could do for her. Someone should take her away from the constant hounding of the press and gossip columns and give her a chance to get proper help and to rebuild herself. I have always been of the opinion that when you're a celebrity and raking in loads of cash, you have to accept that you're going to get a lot of media attention and you have to accept that comes with the territory but, for Christ sake, when you can see that someone is going through such a bad time, lay off and give them a chance. Do they want her to end up killing herself or something? Do we, the public, really NEED to know the many different ways Britney is hurting herself and cracking up? Give the girl a break!